lunes, julio 31, 2006
okie . ever know and realize how rare this opportunity is .
sighh . guess some ppl are just blind huh .
thats it . leave .
come back only if ur true .
im nt gnna care anymore .
well maybe yes i will . but im nt gnna let u know .
so go . go have 'fun' .
1:50 a. m.
domingo, julio 30, 2006
| Your Hidden Talents |
You have the power to persuade and influence others.
You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.
The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it.
Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think! |
|
You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.
You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.
Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.
The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary. |
|
Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements. |
|
You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices. |
srry . they all look attractive to me . haha . its in order so dun wrry .
2:02 a. m.
| Your Personality Profile |
You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.
For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. |
|
You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.
You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first. |
|
You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.
You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper! |
1:53 a. m.
| You Are a Kinetic Learner |
You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star! |
1:28 a. m.
| The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
1:27 a. m.
sábado, julio 29, 2006
Addmath tuition teacher came yesterdayy .
it was cool .
i mean . i needed help .
so i sought help .
and when i find help .
i look for de best help i could get .
this is probably it .
a scholar .
wow .
and he brought with him a 50 cent pen . and a few recycled foolscap paper .
wore a simple checked t and pants . and had a small normal bag .
an indonesian . jarkatar i contemplate .
into chemical engineering .
showed me his certs .
gt 7 As for Alvls .
and was socially weak . but mentally strong .
he is not a nerd . not a geek . just someone who wants to prove himself worthy .
he lives in N.U.S campus .
and when he taught me .
i understood very clearly .
and he kept pointing out to me .
practice . practice .
addmath is all about practice .
he is an intelligient man . moulded by hardwork .
and he spoke cute english .
it was his first time teaching .
and it was suppose to be 2 hours ,
and to show that he is passionate .
he overshot 30 mins without knowing .
and he said its okie .
i came in
with new foolscaps .
g2 .
a billabong pencilbox .
my billabong wallet .
and i wore a pair of branded jeans .
a sleeveless E - Tshirt
colonge
and a 50 dollar necklace .
now that i see this .
i know .
i am truly humbled .
where material is truly nothing . but a status gauge .
he motivates me . when i look into his eyes . i see a child and innocence .
beautiful and pure .
i am once again . true .
like him like me . a child lost .
confidence is key . pride is the lock .
humility is whats behind that door .
thank you senior Andres .
for letting me into the rationale behind all this .
without u knowing it .
thank you God . for all this .
.
.
.
and mr lim talked about cars and motivation .
thought it was crap .
but its kinda true actually .
life is what we make of it ..
im a formula 1 .
and i just cant find the key .
ppl already started . the fast and the furious .
and they arent in our school mihos .
they are all over singapore .
if u are taught only by whats around u . go crash yourself .
hope this time its coming good .
i am motivated . i have a great engine . im going to find my key .
infact i saw my key . know where it is .
its under my formula 1 .
now i just have to figure out how to get it out .
the course will be useless to me i think . cuz it teaches u how to be a great ferrari .
i am a great f1 .
its gnna be useless i tell u .
to me . not u .
i have a poshe a ferrari and a f1 . i have de keys to my poshe and ferrari . the cars of fun , fame and fortune .
and my f1 . the car of performance . i have it !!! im gnna get the key for all i care . thats whats important now .
now i know . ived been drivin my poshe and ferrari on the performance track . doing stunts and nice curves .
playing with my engine .. when all i have to do i just drve straight at top speed . and im nt even using the right car .
this is going to be fun .
im almost there to my key .
and there is still time. but not much left .
so near yet .
one more bit and i have it !!!
and u think ur gnna win cuz ur ahead of me .
hahahaha .
watch me mann .
.
.
.
i know ur hurt cuz of me .
i know u know ur the worthed .
stop hiding and come out alrite ?
i dont want to hurt u .
i dont want to hurt anyone .
not you you you you you you you and you .
if u know what im feeling right now . i hope u do .
you will see that there is no perfection . we can get close . very close to it .
but no such things called perfection .
who de hell invented that word anyway .
if u know what i know . if u see what i see . if u feel what i feel .
if you love me show me . no point saying things subconsciously or trying to be secretive .
cuz i know . damn it . can everyone just stop hiding themselves ?!?!?!!
it really sux cuz when u read ppl . and ppl lie . and u know the truth .
and u just hate it when they lie . or just dont want to tell you how they feel .
its like i know you love me . i just wanna hear it .
well in my case . i want to see it . show me mann . SHOW ME !!!!
i dont want to be the one always making the decisions . doing the nice things . the one caring . the one who is considerate . the one always looking out for u . the one who wants to keep u warm and make u feel comfortable .
i am a human . despite all my differences . with feelings and needs .
i want all those stuff i do to ppl .
i dont request for it .
but i hope u have the initiative and the heart to give em . or even the maturity .
make some . do something for me .
all i ever wanted was you and me .
but all i can do is try .
cuz im not making the step for u . u do it .
and if u miss it . thats it . u have to wait for it another time .
the more u know me . the more u love me .
the more i know you . the more i want of u .
show me . i dont want to leave u alone . need a hug ? tell me .
i want your inner most feeling to be shown . i want to see it on the surface .
its like the radar on a hunting ship has spotted the giant squid .
u know exactly where it is .
or u have already calculated out when the next meteor shower will be .
where is it going to be . and u know exactly .
and all u ever wanted , was to see it for yourself .
so love . show me .
josh - the humbled - the warrior within - the love sick - the true friend craved
1:15 p. m.
viernes, julio 28, 2006
i realized . how far i have drifted from my true self .
not that i put on a mask or anythin .
i just changed in accordance to the world .
what the hell . josh does not change in according to the world .
i decided to power my inner self up into the sky . sky high .
i closed myself in a room . blasted war cries . battle themes . and more soul researching . pictures flicker . my past awakened once again . the warrior is coming . a war so close i just have to fight it and bring it down ,
the best tea on earth brew de best only in the hottest waters . and the soul . the mind . are one . the body is weakened by the soul . the soul awakened by the mind . the soul and the mind are co-existent . we humans use only 3% of our brains . einstein 30% . ever wondered how much more the human body can acheive ? so my fellow homo sapiens . rules are meant to be brokened . u want people to listem . make them . rules are nothing . more like guidelines . be flexible amigo . fall with pride . stand with courage and wisdom . never to be told you are incapable . because impossible is nothing . who are you to define impossible . unless to yourself . thdn it would be a self fufilling prophecy . where impossible will become valid when u think that it is impossible .
90 days .
1.5 months .
6 weeks .
the war is nearing .
this is my war .
probably my greatest for now .
i hope i claim the battlefield .
no . hope is useless . action is needed .
creating new wisdoms .
just to pump it up .
here's one .
procastination is for losers .heyy world . i dont care bout your stupid wayys of life . not to mention boring . no one thought they could fly . till de wright bros did it . no one thought that the twin towers could be brought down . no one thought mircosoft was a great programme . till bill gates proved it . no one thought the light bulb was gnna be successful . no one though bush would become one of the most powerful man on earth . no one thought except for the man himself . no one thought they could do it . till they do . everyone thinks josh cant make it .
not himself .
call me arrogant . proud . over ambitious . attitude . bullcrapper . all talk no action .
call me whatever you want . you have ur freedom of speech .
but when im there .
i have the freedom to shut u up . deal it .
seriously .
dare to dream .
i know my greatest weakness .
maybe my only weakness .
i also know my powers .
maybe i have been exploiting my intelligience for long enough .
i need practice . i cant rely on brain power all the time . and i really mean ALL THE TIME .
i belive it can be used for the good of mankind .
ived lost myself . now im looking for that power packed josh .
seriously . the mind is a powerful tool .
im still learning to get in and out of states .
the 360 state . the 1 degree state . the nv say die state . ived experienced many . learned some .
made use of them . in physical challenges mostly . of cuz . those physical challenges that blows ur mind .
ever wonder why i perspire so much ?
cuz im not really fit .
but my mind is .
ENOUGH !!!no more games . THE WARRIOR IS ENTERING THE BLOODPLAINS .watch me .
12:19 a. m.
domingo, julio 23, 2006
letting her do what she wants again .
leaving her to be 'herself' again .
and im still in love with her .
josh - the gentlemen ?
3:22 p. m.
if i take things for granted . what are you .
if im arrogant . you are ?
screw u losers . i hate all of ya . stop carrying my balls mann .
ever realize how pathetic u are .
u think my life is fabulous ??
ever realize how childish u can be .
u think im havin a great love life ?
the game . its such a way to go berserk when u live for it .
like whats said . love is blind .
the game will always be there .
but love will nv be .
if u lose it . thats it .
like de almighty spoken ,
if u have nothing to die for . you have nothing to live for either .
so i play de game very well .
so what .
do u even know why i play it .
i obviously dont play with my friends .
simply cuz im lookin for love .
i just want her to love me back for who i am . thats all .
of course . i dont expect that from her .
i love ppl for who they are . i do favours just becuz i do them .
i dont expect them back .
but . its a way to gauge how a person you are .
hate me for knowing when u creeps are lying .
thats why i love u creeps when ur tellin de truth .
and im nt mr know it all .
tell me things that i dont know .
a sacrifice for love ?
losing ur head . life .
yes thats me .
like i said .
i dont play with my friends .
i love them and do acts of love for them .
of cuz if u dont know what love is thdn pure affection .
i feel sorry .
and of cuz if they dont realize things that i do for them .
i dont mind actually .
cuz i got what i wanted .
their smile . their happiness .
maybe this is life for me ,
maybe this is the gift from God .
alrito . no wayy .
love is definitely blind .
josh - the unshakened .
1:20 p. m.
sábado, julio 22, 2006
| Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
Extroversion:
You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.
Neuroticism:
You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. |
12:05 a. m.
martes, julio 18, 2006
| Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 92% |
 It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing.You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump! |
Will You Be a Multimillionaire?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . waitt . phone's ringing . *beep* where was i ???? oh yea . MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA .
7:41 p. m.
lunes, julio 17, 2006
TO MY THUMP THUMP - CINDY AND JASMIN !!THANKS !!! YOU GUYS ARE LOVELY !!!
MY SHOULDERS ARE FREE OF CHARGE FOR U GUYS K ?!?!?!!!!
ONLY THEM !!!!
THANK GOD I HAVE THE TWO LOVELY FRIENDS IN SCHOOL !!!!!MUAHAHAHAHAA !! ILL SHARE HALF DE WORLD WITH U WHEN I RULE IT K ??? PROMISE !!!OH > U DINT GET CAUGHT IN DE NET LAST NITE <>
10:35 p. m.
| What Your Soul Really Looks Like |
 You are quite expressive and thoughtful.You see the world in a way that others are blind to.
You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust. |
lovely . thats what i really feel . okie . i still rule . lol . I WANT MY LOVE !!!!!!!! grrr .
10:31 p. m.
domingo, julio 16, 2006
u shackled me to a sinking boat with a giant octie coming for me .
i wont die i swear .
and when im back .
its not u that i want anymore .
hope u made de rite choice .
plus . ur not keira knightley .
who cares . octopus sushi is nice .
gosh dad ! i bloody miss u .
bring me to de casino once again !!!
haha . show me how u rule those losers again (literallylosers)
uill come back for me rite ?
i know i would . u rule !!
although i hate u .
but i still love u no matter what u have done papito !!
damn it i love de show . its muchly about my life .
josh - the pirate
the fighting ,
the treasure ,
the heart ,
the gambling ,
the dad ,
the davy jones and his locker
the flying dutchman
the hugashagas
the Captains
the corruption of de body
the greed
the morons
the cage
the undead monkey
the gypsy woman
the curse
the keira
the fast
the teamwork
the "victory"
the key
the chest
even the compass itself . wayy cool .
and . u still dont know what i do .
muahahahaha .
AYE !!!CAPTAIN JOSH DIEGO !!sounds nice doesnt it .
muahaha .
i still rule .
12:49 a. m.
sábado, julio 15, 2006
J0SH
Although the name Josh creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, worry, and mental tension.
Your name of Josh creates a quick, clever mind capable of grasping and assimilating new ideas.
You are rather studious, mentally challenging each new idea before accepting it.
Because you learn so quickly you have little patience with those whose mental processes are somewhat slower, and you could become supercilious or somewhat "know it all" in your attitude.
This characteristic could make you rather unpopular with your associates.
Although you are very knowledgeable and intelligent, you often find spontaneous verbal expression difficult.
You crave friendship, understanding, love, and affection about your reserved manner appears forbidding to others.
josh: wayy cool . its so precise .(but not that) i always thought how ur name can affect ur life .
now i know . IT WORKS . haha yes . im studious . but nt in school but other things in life .
12:44 a. m.
viernes, julio 14, 2006
yeaa . this is righteous . i dont know what to do .
but . still .
im not backing it up .
if i dont get this done .
haha , funny isnt it ,
im sure i can read ur mind .
well just let me be .
here's more of me frm daya's blog
10:56 p. m.
neither opposing them . they hence emphapize . on ties humbly essence rest . win any yarn .
simply love .
1:02 a. m.
i may partly list atrociously yearn inappropriation . not giving ways in the house yearly . openly unlovingingly .
i love u .
12:58 a. m.
jueves, julio 13, 2006
BORED .
very .
hmm . what shud i blog about today .
maybe .
ohh ohh !!
someone said im nt a genius !!! (please im bloggin this out of pure boredom)
basket .
please . judging frm my perspective .
if im an average IQed person .
i wouldn have solve de puzzle in less thdn 2 hrs .
and i mean solve . not open with luck .
i also open it with luck de first time . so we all saw de interior .
and when i open it de second time . i did it with a
SOLUTION . NOT
ONE but
TWOso i give u de puzzle for more thdn 24 hrs . and u open it rite ??? but did u COME OUT WITH A SOLUTION ?? NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!haha . so u said they also open .
difference is soultions . i also open . in bout 10 mins i guess .
sighh . i am a genius !!
=(
just that no one admits it mann .
okie enough of blabber .
i think they know . i think they do . yes . both of them .
my screen is bigger . can i say that
yes i can .
we will see ?
im nervous .
this is a tough one .
not that experienced yet .
hope i make it .
do they know ??
i think they do .
hmmmmm .
what to do next .
aha !!
oh btw . the mark of a true moron is thinkin that he isnt one .
ur an idiot !!!
still fall for this and i really have nothing to say .
haha . they are bored too .
do u know what ill do ?
or not .
think i am serious bout it .
or not .
im making u think . just like what u did to me .
or maybe i shuden think so much .
dont know what chinese proverb goes like 'cong ming fan bei cong ming wu'
think so .
wait.
stop thinking .
shud i?
maybe .
yes i shud .
im gnna .
okie.
sharifah's dad called .
wtf .
this sux .
who cares .
im in love .
hope she is too .
10:59 p. m.
miércoles, julio 12, 2006
YES !!!!!!!!! ITS OVER !!! haha . nobody knows a shit what im doing . plus de fact that im bloggin it here and tellin u that u dont know something . and u will nv figure this out . shows that ur dumb . dumbass . oh mann . i almost lost myself . well yes . i see ur lies . so . hmm . i shant expose things . before u morons actually know what im doing . this is more funn thdn de human geno project .
muahahahaha . im seriously a genius . love me hate me i dont care . its a much more complicated game of bluff . which stupid neopets introduced to me . but i love it . isabel isabel . fools shall remain as fools .
this is more funn thdn de da vinci code . and im loving it .
this rules . thats how entertainment is in my life for now at least . seeing u losers act
why else would i buy it .
trying to regain something that was lost .
hmmm . FUNN!!!
im sorry i had all ur feelings mixed up .
but to those that thought i had it . im really srry . there's only one i love and thats it .
i think my iq shud be higher .
iq increases all de time .
sighh . ill go test it the nxt time .
hmmm . really . i wish there was someone like me to see through me , tell me things that im fascinated about . like what i do to ppl .
ahhhhhhhh . FUNN
sighh . no one to play with me . maybe jasmin would .
hmm .thdn again . im nt sure she would understand or think its fun .
all u bloody posers and actors . remain like that . (except for de ppl i care for of cuz ) .
deepest darkest emotions . muahahahaha . God am i good .
isabel isabel . thanks for de lil fun . but too bad u dint want real fun .
and to ppl who think they gt their game going . ur in my screen mann .
lol . FUNNN !!!
yays . i dun wanna die .
i wanna live life again !!!
haha . happy .
and again . u reading this .
ur a moron .
10:12 p. m.
im sorry .
i really am .
for telling you .
how much i love u .
im sorry.
i really am .
and what i want now.
is ur happiness .
forget about all i ever said .
if it appears pointless to you .
remember all that i am .
if u are truly in love .
in the end i want to say.
i dont love her because she's beautiful .
but she's beautiful because i love her .
but all i can say now .
is love sought is great .
but love unsought is better .
and im apologizing for the next line .
i love u .
i wished u were here with me .
really i do .
but i want to leave you be .
and nv know what i have done for thee .
for all i know is .
im in love with you .
- josh ; the sacrifice ; that u didnt know .
6:27 p. m.
martes, julio 11, 2006
all i wanted .
were three words .
and how can u be so heartless .
to think that a guy who;s loved by many loves u
u really think im playing and smiling at u for real .
all i ever wanted .
were three words .
9:17 p. m.
this sux . big time . not only i have dissapointed myself . i have dissapointed her . or at least i think so . life i s gnna be shitty these few months . i dont wnna see the both of them in school . i dont wanna go thinking who i shud choose . i dont wanna break hearts . i dont wanna lose myself over this . i dont want them to go crazy . i dont wish that she finds out who she is . im just sick of thinking and thinking . i wanna go blank and be a normal person who doesnt think ,
i wanna be a normal person who does what the teacher tells u to . i wanna be a normal person with no goals in life and still be happy . i wanna be a normal person who can love normally or at least know what he is loving . i wanna run away . im sick of handling other ppl's problems . and when i need them to solve mine . all they can do is watch . i wanna be normal . i wanna have an average iq so i dont have to see through others disguise . i wanna be conned by man and stay happy . rather thdn being smart and find out the truth and frown . i wanna be happy . i want her . i want to see both of them happy . maybe ill just leave the two bossom frens be . like i always did . well cmon josh . at least they are happy . as if they would be happy with u . and as if they know how to please you . but u love them . so how ? i rather them be happy . truthfully . i wont forget them .
okie . so im a true loner within . becuz? ppl dont know what im thinking . one bloody fact . i solved a puzzle and came up with 2 solutions within 12hrs (including sleep and classes in school) . while the others just ponder and ask themselves how de fuck did josh do that . okie . like what jasmin said . it be good . VERY GOOD . if im able to channel that energy towards my studies . right . SHE"S RIGHT . damn mann . i will . its not as if i wanna show off or anything , its that im prone to instant gratification . i wanna live the moment . intelligience? whats de big damn deal of having it . u hate ppl in de end . u see through their fake faces . and u see the truth . and back to hating them . the worse thing of all . ppl dont understand u . einstein must have been very heartbrokened thdn . or issac newton . or even bill gates . im nt comparing myself to them . but i belive i can become one of them . just like einstein thought . just like lee kuan yew perservered . maybe u think im over ambitious , so? go think all u want . cuz u nv understand . what its like to be me . having to withstand heavy peer pressure and overcome them . having eveyone's eyes on you . watching and critizing ur every move . and all they do is think NORMALLY . i hate u losers .
i think she figured out who she is . or not . i can be wrong again . stupid assumptions made out of feelings rather thdn ur head . whatever . im just gonna go drink and try to get drunk . alone ? i dont know . maybe go vomit at cindy's house again . i was sober . i swear i was . i just coulden walk properly cuz it affected de brain part which controls balance . so now . no one's gnna carry me home . ill ly by de street and maybe die . wait. i dun wanna waste it . ill just cry my heart out for a day go be super sad . let it pass . and hope im over it . i know its de wrong way to do it . but i feel better . or at least i think so . cuz one of mankind's greatest ability . is to deciet oneself . so maybe thats what im going to try out .
- josh ; the broken angel
- song; hello - evanesance
7:32 p. m.
sábado, julio 08, 2006
HUEYYY ANDD BEL WERE HEREE.!BOO TO JOSHYYY =P [ DY]LOVE US.!JOSHUA GO DIE!!!! [BEL]
SHALL FORGIVE HIM ON THE ACCOUNT OF THE BREAKFAST =]]
12:55 p. m.
viernes, julio 07, 2006
killer
okie . so i thought of a few things . is she worthed it ? or totally not . and i cant come out iwth an answer . anyone who dates that moron is nothun too far frm what he is anyway . okie this is gettin weird . i have sudden thoughts of girls liking me and im breaking their hearts rite now . cuz they found that de one i like is not them . ARGH . f . can u girls come to ur senses . i love all of u . and i only hate myself for only having to choose one . and im nt unfaithful . and god damn it . i dun like anyone now , keep forcing me and ill turn gayy mann . and shit my frens . they have to fall for the same girl . thdn i will let them be . and thdn they have to screw the whole thing up . and thdn ill just look at the debris of a broken . nv be implemented again . its so fucked up watch ur frens doing their pathetic mojo , cmon , u dun even know what she likes adn ur trying to woo her , all i can do is stand and watch my prize get destroyed . thats particularly why i hate some of my frens . damn it .
one thing i really hate . is hurting someone's feelings . especially girls . thank god for creating them . but thd again . i hate to see them cry . or sadd really . i cant be the old do everythin a girl wants josh . now im doing me best to be what they want . and now i think . ill break hearts . and obviously i hate that. damned it . i am still who i am . just evolved .
so i love u .
so i let u be who u wanna be .
so i hate who u wanna be . or being
BUT i still love u .
and hate u at de same time ,
damn u
okie and guess what i do today to forget bout this stupid things in my head .
go abuse my eyes .
and again . porn is for losers .
so . victoria's secret fashion show's still rocks .
gosh . do i wanna eat them up or what .
they look so freakin cute and sWeet .
damn . i really can be a player .
and im not .
okie , so i know what works on a girl or not ,
but its all for the sake of .
finding my true love duh ,
where i can channel all my love energy on .
i mean . i just put some in a girl and they swoon like as if im de perfect guy
fuck u. no one;s perfect .
i just want my baby , my true love , my sweet beautiful loving mature and kick ass wife .
=(
waiting for my other soul . who thinks like me at least , with some of my philosophies and some of her unique own . or at least frens like this would make my life better . or not , cuz eagles dun fly together . ghaha . but eagles mate ! okie . . okie . . stop ur imagination
ppl say i look like a player , damn them .
frens say i look like one but aint one . okie . ur a lil damned .
best frens says im one . okie . ur so damned .
joshua sim says im not one . =)
SIGHS when will this end . complications . im really experiencing weird stuffs . weird thoughts . weird ppl . weird allover . maybe its just me . okie . lets stick to weird .
-josh the delinquent
-music ; missing-evanescence
11:08 p. m.
this sucks . just found out that i really love her . okie . im actually feeling sad . alrite josh . control . you can do this . just let her be . even though she does not admits it . wait . thdn that would be u going through the whole shit again , damn it . love is blind . so blind . josh . its time to hate urself . or remember who u are , thats rite , remember who u are . and everything else doesnt matter anymore . not like the ppl in de world know who u are anyway . shit . its supposed to be classified . forget it . i had enough . i love u? i really need the truth now . josh. ur a jerk . wake up . ARGGHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid girl . ima find cupid and shoot him down with a sniper and make him eat grenades . die cupid . die
12:38 a. m.
jueves, julio 06, 2006
lol . oh boy . guess what the amigo heard today . words of gold . YES!!!!!!! . im free . suddenly it doesnt matter anymore . i mean . to think that she actualli belives it . its just plain material . okie . so what are my lips for . dumbass . josh , why bother . u actualli ahd forgotten her long ago . or maybe not . its just stuck in ur head probably all the way in . and u finally let it out . lol . another game played . it was alrite la . not that fun but alrite . so game over ? yeap . game over . sigh josh . where u gnna find ur amusment again . oh please . be frank . josh would love a gentle beautiful girl who understands josh inside out , loves and would like to make him happy . cuz josh will never dissapoint his apples . and moreover a lady that he loves . so that method doesnt work on materials . so i tried sentimental with materials . now its time for materials with sentimentals . wait . dont think that will work out . alrite . josh . 3 more months . just stop . haha isabel . u crack me up . dumbass .
11:26 p. m.
miércoles, julio 05, 2006
alrito . diego is back from confusion . lets see . mr annand wants to know bout my life now , im gnna meet him tomorrow at 5 beside de fountain of blood . so what am i going to tell him u ask ??
lets see . how about . how mutherfucking screwed my family is ? how bout how my father betrayed the family . how bout telling him that my mom is in Sarawak waiting for daddy to come home once every 2 fucking months ? how bout that i suffer emotions that no one has had before . how bout knowing that i know that he's lying sometimes . how bout telling him that ive been through more shit thdn anyone in my class . how bout mommy's suicide with a bottle of poison . how bout me sittin on de edge of the 20th storey looking at how beautiful the stars are . how bout having ur family asking u to pay rental fees . how bout im really a kidd who thinks differently . how bout how proud, lazy , inconsiderate,irresponsible,and having a bad attitude ??
lets see .
hmmmm , . .
alrite i got it . ill tell him everything . and ill tell u what he hears ; my last sentence on how inconsiderate , iressponsible,lazy,arrogant and having a bad attitude .
mr annand . im starting to hate u . yes . mom called u yesterday . yes . mom cried over the phone . yes . u think u know what im going through . no . you dont .
anyway . another thing is adding alot of fuel to my fiery life . she . so she claims she loves me . or so i think . but . whats up with de messages that nite , do u really want me or not . i mean . wth is wrong with u. u say u love me and the nxt day i see u flirting with some other guy . damn u mann . i got damn wait for u . try to forget u. trying to get drunk . cindy . if u see this . its not someother girl i find outside that made me do that that nite . its far more deep and complicated thdn u think . i hate u and i love u at the same time . tell me who de hell experience that in a normal love life . i went around lookin for girls that would make me forget u . show u messages bout them and see ur reactions . so when im already starting to forget u . i somehow get to talk to u one nite . and somehow i confess everything to u . im really crazy . worst of all . ur ignoring me again . sadness is beautiful . loneliness is about one of the worst thing u can experience in life . tell me mann . whisper love into my ears . tell me u love me once again . let my arms cuddle u in . and ur head rest on me .
i want u badly now . dont break my heart again .
9:00 p. m.
martes, julio 04, 2006
what the . great . im stuck in the middle . i didnt sleep for 34 hrs . and i confessed my love for a girl this mornin . just recieved a call from mom . gt scolded . mom broke down . becuz i told mr annand to not care bout me anymore and treat me as invisible , so he was like " ohh. we need to sign forms to make u invisible " wtf . u think he is truly wanting to help . i agree . my attitude is fucked up at times , but my reasons for my attitude is fairly arguable , which means im made this way . ask urself . if ur a dude who grew up in pain with nothin but money . no family no true friends . nobody who understands u . everyone thinks ur showing off your money ( which im nt ) ( go fuck off if ur jealous or somethin )(cuz whether im rich or nt truthfully i tell u this : i dont care) . and u decided to move to Singapore to study, after u reach there . u have a house of entertainment and no parents to look after u . do i have a strong determination . hell yes . tell me , who will resist having 1200 in ur hands every month with no parents to care what ur spending on . u think u still care bout studies?? alrite nvm . so u reach sec 4 with pathetic grades and with a strong goal that u tell all ur frens about . what they do , they laugh at u , thinks u can nv make it . u have teachers who think ur too proud (fuck mann . whats wrong with having a goal and some confidence and beliving in urself?) . having teachers to think that ur just another loser kidd . yes . they know im smart and lazy . but i seriously think there are more constructive wayys to make me work thdn just plainly demoralizing me . so mommy cried in de phone . i nv spoke a word . . so u tell me . am i seriusly having bad attitude? given that my life is like this . and oh please . stop lying and using reverse psycology on me . i see through almost everyone of them . and im randering .
so are we together now ? im confused . 0 lvls is bloody nearing . and im still getting into a relationship , the fact is , i was nv a cheater . call me flirt all u want . thats how i socialize and have funn with girls . i seriously love her . waiting subconsciously for 3 yrs . letting her do her things and lead her life . and now . out of a sudden . BOOM ! . she thinks she likes u . this is seriously not the time to fall in love i must say , but who will comprehend . who will answer my heart . she said my attitude sucked at times too . damn . u guys ever been out there? their att sucks ten times times ten more thdn me amigo . but wth .what am i suppose to do now , itz been a long time sice i tasted real confusion of heart matters . i really love her i do . but will she look beyond whats outside of me and look into my heart and love me for who i am? yes i know shes partly materialistic . and i really hate that . i mean . i dun wanna seem as if i bought her u know?? wtf . we in love . not in business for sake . im really confused rite now . and im anythin more thdn angry and alive with a vengence . its seriously time to kick ass . its now or never josh . now or never
josh - the heartbrokened , the warrior within , the vendetta
10:21 p. m.
lol . lucky u . so u get to know a lil more bout this dude who's often misunderstood and uncomprehensivable . which is complicated and undeciphered . happy personality checkin amigoz . the fallen angel .
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