what the . great . im stuck in the middle . i didnt sleep for 34 hrs . and i confessed my love for a girl this mornin . just recieved a call from mom . gt scolded . mom broke down . becuz i told mr annand to not care bout me anymore and treat me as invisible , so he was like " ohh. we need to sign forms to make u invisible " wtf . u think he is truly wanting to help . i agree . my attitude is fucked up at times , but my reasons for my attitude is fairly arguable , which means im made this way . ask urself . if ur a dude who grew up in pain with nothin but money . no family no true friends . nobody who understands u . everyone thinks ur showing off your money ( which im nt ) ( go fuck off if ur jealous or somethin )(cuz whether im rich or nt truthfully i tell u this : i dont care) . and u decided to move to Singapore to study, after u reach there . u have a house of entertainment and no parents to look after u . do i have a strong determination . hell yes . tell me , who will resist having 1200 in ur hands every month with no parents to care what ur spending on . u think u still care bout studies?? alrite nvm . so u reach sec 4 with pathetic grades and with a strong goal that u tell all ur frens about . what they do , they laugh at u , thinks u can nv make it . u have teachers who think ur too proud (fuck mann . whats wrong with having a goal and some confidence and beliving in urself?) . having teachers to think that ur just another loser kidd . yes . they know im smart and lazy . but i seriously think there are more constructive wayys to make me work thdn just plainly demoralizing me . so mommy cried in de phone . i nv spoke a word . . so u tell me . am i seriusly having bad attitude? given that my life is like this . and oh please . stop lying and using reverse psycology on me . i see through almost everyone of them . and im randering .
so are we together now ? im confused . 0 lvls is bloody nearing . and im still getting into a relationship , the fact is , i was nv a cheater . call me flirt all u want . thats how i socialize and have funn with girls . i seriously love her . waiting subconsciously for 3 yrs . letting her do her things and lead her life . and now . out of a sudden . BOOM ! . she thinks she likes u . this is seriously not the time to fall in love i must say , but who will comprehend . who will answer my heart . she said my attitude sucked at times too . damn . u guys ever been out there? their att sucks ten times times ten more thdn me amigo . but wth .what am i suppose to do now , itz been a long time sice i tasted real confusion of heart matters . i really love her i do . but will she look beyond whats outside of me and look into my heart and love me for who i am? yes i know shes partly materialistic . and i really hate that . i mean . i dun wanna seem as if i bought her u know?? wtf . we in love . not in business for sake . im really confused rite now . and im anythin more thdn angry and alive with a vengence . its seriously time to kick ass . its now or never josh . now or never
josh - the heartbrokened , the warrior within , the vendetta
