im sorry .
that i had to leave .
norisha . sharifah . ca-may . janice . jade .
i know ived carried u .
shielded u from ur fears .
gave u hope to life again .
im sorry u fell in love .
i see u fall , break , cry .
and i was always there .
to shield u from ur pain .
to offer my hand ,
and carry u away .
i thank u for all the hugs .
for all the sweet words .
for the times u tried to bite my lips .
for all your sacrifice ,
your mind body and soul .
im sorry i cant take it .
and im sorry , i had to leave .
and im deepest regrets for one of u .
that u have frantically called for me .
and ur last request to see me .
i rejected it . with a frozen heart .
im sorry , i didnt know u were leaving this world .
and your last words ,
"i love you"
breaks me . makes me kneel before God for prayer .
im sorry , that i have forsakened you .
im crying . hearing your words from heaven .
how i wished , i hadnt see you from the beginning .
that i didnt see this helpless girl in pain .
so i wouldn have gave her life the light again .
and only to see her die , in her love for me .
for all that ived put into your life .
im hearing you . i hear your sorries and thanks .
for saving you from the drowning darkness .
and now i hear your cry form the heavens .
in return for my favour .
and i hear your words to guide me in life .
i thank you for your understanding .
i know u wish for my happiness .
i heard it .
and i cant help but cry .
i know what ived done to your lives .
it breaks me to leave u there just like that .
but i at least know , when u fall this time .
you'ved learn to stand up by yourself .
i know you hate me for leaving you .
but i taught u life . i taught u sorrow and pain .
i taught u to break your fears . i taught you to stand .
i taught my life to you .
all i wanted was your understanding .
and now that i know ived made you .
that uved learnt to stand .
its time to leave . before you mistake me for love .
neither did i know . you already fallen for me since the beginning .
im sorry , for the forsakening .
although i hear your cries .
although i feel the worse doing this .
i feel this peace within . that ived pulled another soul to life .
i know you wont forget me .
i know u still love me .
but one day you will thank me .
for my forsakening .
just like her in heaven .
she has understood my doings .
that even if it wasnt love at all .
she's grateful for this friendship .
everytime it rains .
i think of all the sorrows in the world .
that the heavens and angels gather to remember .
to remember the sorrows and the pain in life .
and the heavens and angels would cry .
and every drop means a trickle of tear for each sorrow and pain .
and everytime it rains .
theres this calm within .
that all the sorrows and pain are accounted for .
that someone is there to heal them .
that something would make them smile again .
for without sorrows , how can there be happiness ?
im bleeding , my friends around me do not understand .
and my love for someone is in a lost .
i dare not put my all into love this time .
before i cause another beautiful disaster .
but they would want me to carry on .
praying for my happiness .
and ived promised them i would find it .
but im confused . broken and in darkness .
i dont want to take this step .
i want her to do it .
thats why i remain silent at times .
ived kept this for a long time .
now that she discovered me .
i hope she wouldnt just leave me there .
i hope she takes up the courage to love me .
i hope she believes in me .
closing my eyes .
dreaming .
letting my subconscious take over my thoughts .
seeing flashes of my life .
seeing you and me .
feeling myself fall into this .
do you not ?
dont call me a player .
i was never one .
though i feign .
though i hide you from my heart .
listen to the rain .
hear my every beat of my heart for u .
dont cry anymore .
evanescence - october - in tears for me , i hear your cries
30s to mars - a modern myth - forsaken secret goodbyes
evanescence - listen to the rain - feel the sorrows and lies
josh - crimson regret and betrayal . your blood for my thirst .
