WHoohoo !!!

Hell Yeahh ..

Reason Why im Here now is that i Went ahead of Schedule !!

well just a lil ..

bloody mack !!

since when Amath was easy ???

Haha .. i think whatever got to hidaya that day got to me now ..

Hell YEahh !!!

Im going Crazy ..

Reason number 1 ..

Studying IS fun to me now ..*yes , im crazy*

2 . Im sleeping only max 5 hrs a day .

3. i screwed up my schedule .

4. i planned a new one .

5. im bored at the moment *while ppl are panicking*

6. im eating only a meal a day

7. i completed chem tys in 12 hours ..

8. ived completed physics tys in about 9 hours i think .

9. ived forgotten some bio facts.*going nuts over that**AFTER ALL THAT HOURS*

10. i waking every mornin now to see May Tan *definitely Crazy*

11. i Shampoo My Hair .. Have Cleanser On my Face .. While Brushing My Teeth While Doing Business .. * yep . craaaz- zy *

12. i was tired and had no sleep .. and waked routine calls .. So i mixed up cleanser with toothpaste that day .. * well .. at least my teeth are whiter ..not sure if it denatured my enzymes and i would have digestive problems *

13. I think math is fun ..

14. i slept with only shorts and no blanket with a 16'C tempreture .. with the fan on .. at me ..*need to increase metabolism rate*

15. i just fixed my mouse .. i dint know how de hell i did that ..

16. my ipod hanged .. going very crazy over that .. i gt it fixed though . =]

17. alot of thoughts are flooding my mind .. during almost every min .. every second .. pictures .. scenarios .. i want this so bad ..

18. those handprints on my window are creeping me out ..

19. things went bump in de nite .

20. i just made a list of why im going crazy ..

gtta go gtta go ..













j0sH - I Occupied Myself so i wouldn have to think of you .. Murder inc .

Mann ...

I need Time Time Time !!!!!!!!!

Regret Not Studying In Previous Months and week ...

I just Need A Week's More Time ..

Im Improving so much ..

I Cant Even Belive It ..

Now All i Need is Just a Lil More Time !!!

Somebody Save Me ..

GARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta Keep Going ...

Move Move Move !!!!!!!!!!

Time's Not Turning Back ..

MOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just a boy who misses his mommy's nagging and daddy's laughter ..

i miss the days firecrackers and explosives were first off my mind ..

i miss the days dad laughed , gave that smirk while he takes tons of money out of the casino ..

and said " doesnt your dad just rule ? " .

i missed his cockyness ..

i missed mommy's embrace ..

i missed mommy's beating ..

i missed the days mommy applied medication to my wounds ..

i miss my bro ..

i missed the time we masterminded operations ..

i missed the day he planted a stink bomb under my bed ..

i missed the days we turned the house into a mess ..

i missed the days we laughed and teased each other silly ..

i missed the joy of trashing other kids working together ..

i missed the brotherhood ..

i missed diving for muscles ..

i missed the beautiful waterfall ..

i missed getting mosquito bites ..

i missed fishing with grandma ..

i missed grandma's cooking ..

i miss the times grandma cried when she sees me ..

i miss the days we went up the hills ..

i miss the sunsets ..

i miss the fresh cool breeze ..

i miss the lil chicks ..

i miss camping in the woods ..

i miss catching snakes ..

i miss hunting wild boars ..

i miss setting up traps ..

i miss catching bats ..

i miss my village ..














i miss my amigos ..

i miss my army ..

i miss my people ..

i miss the glory ..

i miss the great wars ..

i miss the adrenaline rush ..

i miss the war cry ..

i miss the bloodshed ..

i miss the feeling of bringing down what we went for ..

i miss the celebrations ..

i miss the compliments ..

i miss being there ..

i miss the Mafias ..













i miss the prestige ..

i miss the suits ..

i miss the cars ..

i miss the black ..

i miss the escort ..

i miss the labels ..

i miss the airport limos ..

i miss the day i was lost ..













i miss the people i have held up when they fell ..

i miss the people that have cried for me ..

i miss the people who are feeling hurt rite now ..

i miss the people who held on ..

i miss the people that slept in that corner ..

i miss the people that understands ..

i miss the people up there ..

i missed gravity ..













i miss her more each day ..

its dumb ..

but yes i do ..

dont ask me why ..

im sick of feelin incompetent ..














surely the day will come again ..

a whole new season of my life ..

just to let everyone know ..

i remember you ..

for life ..

surely i wont want regrets ..

surely i have not much control over people's mouth ..

for if i pass cup of pure gold dust through 10 people ..

at the end ..

will the dust remain as gold ?

even if gold was not by your hands ..

surely you remember what you recieved ..

surely i spoke the truth ..

for the cups for me were passed with no intention ..

i am sure ..

but the cups that meant me ..

fills with dirt ..

where did all the gold vanish ?

love .. life ..

when will my life end ?

and when it does ..

what will i have done myself proud ..

what is this world after ?













you know ..













people look ..

but not see ..

people took ..

and not free ..

people speak ..

but not deliver ..

people seek ..

and not quiver ..

for what they are to discover ..

isnt what they thought uncover ..

know the truth ..

know the faithful ..

know the righteous ..













for what is a man greatness

if all is vainity ..

if all of not purpose ..

if all of not dreams ..

if all of not fire ..

if all of not will ..













For people cry ..

but not know why ..

Then people die ..

asking why ..













Seek The Values Of The Eternal ..

The Unfadable ..

For One day ..

You Will Leave This World a Phantom ..

A Memory ..













I rather take the pain thdn have caused anyone hurt ..

I rather feel Pain thdn nothing for you ..

I hate this weakness ..

as i endlessly hold a torch in the snowy night ..

Perhaps when one day we wont ever meet again ..

Perhaps you would forget me ..

For the times i tried ..

You know something ?

I hate regrets ..

But ill have to leave that to you ..

Love is something i want naturally ..

Not a Pursuit out of reckless sympathy ..

Ill be Here Always ..














J0sH - Still Missing You

As Cold Wind Raids

The Felt Of Snow Warms

As My Defying Blade

Even When Roses Have Thorns













Josh - The Frozen Throne

Was it all just a Dream ?

i feel tired ..

very tired ..

no josh ..

wake up warrior ..

be sober and fight on ..

i need clarity ..

i dont feel tired ..

i dont feel tired ..

i can fend this ..

i will fight this ..

i am fighting this ..

im just a boy ..

what have my ancestors put me through ?

leaving me here alone to fend for myself ..

im just a boy ..

what have my amigos done ?

fighting my war for me ..

ending one by one ..

for me ..

have i no clarity ?

have i no masks ?

nevertheless ..

whatever that does not kill me makes me stronger ..

maybe love will ..

ill never know till the day i die ..

the 0lvls is a challenge ived set up for myself ..

if i can repeat what is done in my previous battles won ..

i have definitely set it up a higher notch ..

now i can only hold myself close to Christ ..

For Wisdom he has shown me ..

For Strength he has put me through endless wars ..

For Passion he has ignited me ..

With The Love of God













JosH - For The Kingdom Of Heaven

This Is Crazy ..

Everyday taking down average 15 hours of study is Crazy ..

Left with An Hour To Blog And Relax ..

De other hour broken down for 15mins intervals of break time and Food ..

Marathons are Fun Rite ??

Besides !! Bio Rocks .. Chem Rocks ..

Diego is Glad .. 60/65 for Chem ..

And Bio Yet To test ..

My Ss is almost Ready .. Got My Source Base 20/25

Got a few Careless and Lack of Explaination ..

All im Missing is de Memorizing part ..

Which Is Somethin i can Do with Speed ..

Im Doing Physics Later Till Tmr 8am ..

Sleepin Till 2pm and Get ready For Church ..

Returinin Home At 5pm ..

Starting Emath At Round 6 all de Way till Nxt Mornin 7 or 8..

Take a Nap .. Wake At 3pm on Sunday ..

Spend another 9 hours on Emath ..

Time to Change Body Clock .. Sleepin at 12am

Wake At monday Morning at 7am ..

Going to School ..

Do an Essay .. Do an Ss Paper ..

Pass It up To Respective Teachers ..

At de Sane Time Memorize 3 chapters for Ss ..*that was not a Typo*

Get Back Scripts .. Spot Mistakes ..

Remember Them .. Adhere To Internal Correction ..

Do 1 chapter of Amath ..

Sleep at 12 am ..

Repeat for Till Friday ..

Changes for Days of Thursday and Friday ..

Instead Of Memorizing Ss Memorize Geo ..

Ss is Done ..

Saturday and Sunday is Dedicated To Geo ..

Subjects To recap on days after 0lvl Paper ..

Timing Is allocated in My Personal Schedule ..

6/11 - Chem

7/11 - Physics + Eng + Bio

8/11 - Bio + Ss

9/11 - Math + Amath

10/11 - Amath (14 hrs)

11/11 - Amath (14 hrs)

12/11 - Amath (14 hrs)

13/11 - Clb (vocab) + Amath (7 hours)

14/11 - Amath (9am-1pm) + Amath (5pm - 12am)

15/11 - Amath (16 hours)

16/11 - Chem McQ

17/11 - Chem McQ

18/11 - Phy McQ

19/11 - Phy McQ

20/11 - FREEDOM








Josh - TO THE END !!!!!!!

i bloody hell hate MCQs ..

Though i finished Chem and Bio Tys ..

It is Funn stuff .. im getting all scientific again !! Hell Yeah !!

Well Reason Hating ..

I hate Retarded Questions ..

Though They Are Funny and crack a lil of u sometimes ..

Eg . Bio Tys topic 16 Parasitism page131 question 3 .

How is Malarial Parasite Transmitted to humans ?

A) Body Contact ( HAHAHA )

B) Breathing ( WHOA )

C) Eating ( Eat What ?? Mosquitoes ?? * Eat mosquitoes of cuz get Transmitted* )

D) Mosquito Bites ( DUH !! )

E) Sexual Intercourse ( Yeah .. Just try having sex with mosquitos .. thdn we shall have Flying babies who's first words are only bzzzz bzzzz and more bzzzzz )




Haha .. And Plenty More !!

Retarded ..

At times they give u the wrong answers ..

And i can prove it !!



An Eg .. yes .. AN Eg .. Just one of de Few Hundreds ..

Bio Tys Pg 95 Q21 and Q24

Q21

Where is Urea Made In the Body ??

A. Bladder
B. Gall Bladder ( HAHA )
C. Kidneys
D. Liver

Answer Given : D. Liver



Q24

Where is Urea Produced??

A. Bladder
B. Blood Cells
C. Kidney
D. Liver


Answer Given : C. Kidney





Bloody Hell ...





De CORRECT Answer is of course Liver ..





But its disturbing when im learning de subject Via Practice ..
Making Errors And learning From them ..
One of de Best ways i absorb ..
Irritating McQs ..
Nvtherless .. Ill Carry On ..
This War Has not ended ..
And im Nt going down without a Fight !!













Josh - Knowledge Over Marks

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain















Josh - The Pain

Deciet ..

Lies ..

Rumours ..

Betrayal ..

Story ..

Cause ..

Effect ..

Source ..

Fatality ..

Will ..

Domain ..

Friends ..

Enemies ..

Blizzard ..

Warmth ..

Child ..

Truth ..

Kill ..

Abstained ..

Throne ..













a Stab in the back means nothing to me ..
Just try killing me .. You'll see why ..

j0sH - ARTHUR

Today is an awesome day ..

First of when i open my eyes to this beautiful day ..

I saw my maid ..

I saw the time .. 750

I gave my maid the middle finger ..




i told her yesterday very clearly .. 0630 boleh ?

maid : yaa

josh : enam stengah ya ?

maid : yaa

josh : betul ?

maid : ya




ken called my house in de mornin ..(adapted from damieno)

ken : "CALL HIM UP NOW"

maid : " ya later 0830 "

ken : " NO !!! HE HAS OLVLS NOW !!"

maid : " ok .. later "

ken :" NO !! MUST CALL NOW !!!"

maid : " 0k now now .. who are you ?? "



Still .. She's forgivened

its my fault .. i should have asked her what time did i say ..

i shud have made fully sure she knew it was 0630 ..

i shuda change my "alarm clock"

shuda be prepared ..

its not bad luck ..

its cause and effect ..





no game .. stripped in 3s ..

dressed in 2 mins ..

took bag , calc and entry proof

run ..

pray ..

must be the sin ived done last nite ..

forgive me !!

i spoke in tongues ..

a Christian language that only God , Jesus , The Angels , Holy spirit can hear ..

shots ran through my mind .. but i was calm ..

reached the school at 759

wanted to run in to de lab .

thdn thinking ..

with this state of rush and stuff ..

how de hell am i gnna do well ?

so i rejected de decision ..

so school called me ..

they gave me de 4th shift

*holy lighting* * holy background chapel chior chant *

so i returned home . haha .

watched mtv .

prepared a lil .

went to school . again .

was with all de private candidates .

im de only clown wearing red .

they were all in jeans - dyed hair - piercings etc ..

now i feel like the nerd .. basket ..

its okie .. we are all social amigos !!

haha.. they dunno how to do de !!

funny .. de pendulum .. none of their length is longer thdn de table mann ..

dunno wth they doing ..

my intervals were 5 cm ..

from 40 to 65 ..

theirs are like what ..

40 to 50 ? intervals of 2.5 cm ? wth ..

it dint even reach de bottom of de retort stand ..

whoaa .. den 20 mins finish and change to chem ..

i took 35 mins la ..

cuz i was doing de recording twice for accuracy .

awesome .. they look like they got ahead of us in life ..

after prac they told me they screwed up ..

haha .. at least they gt chloride la huh ..

funn ppl !! nice to have some private candies as frens mann !!

okie !

gah .. nvm ..

prac was easy ..

juzt screwed up de answer at de back .. forgot to write chloride ..

1 mark down ~

first time i enjoyed practical !! haha .. cuz i knew what to do ..

and its kinda interesting to see the expected results and stuff ..

realized how much ived been missing in school .

argh .. time time time .. what i need is time now ..

idiot .. but nvm .. de rest shud be correct ..

and being colour blind is exhausting .. FOR THE TEACHER !!

haha .. and a complete waste of time .. every 5 mins gtta call her up ..

and she has to inspect and tell me if theres a ppt and warna of soloution ..

and there was this really hot looking girl ..

wth !!! DISTRACTING !!!

thdn again .. she was dumb enough to do some stupid stuff in practical la ..

retarded la .. i hate bimbos mann ..

anyway .. gtta thank de heavens ..

yes He taught me a lesson ..

actually quite a few today ..

anyway .. its been a long time since ived felt thrilled ..

it reminds me of some stuff in de past ..

haha .. bet i made a BIG HOO HAA !!

lol .. thats de josh

the one that lives on the edge

funn stuff !!

awesome ride ~

i knelt before the alter and cried ..

Im sorry Father Lord ..

Its time to draw strength from you ..

and humble myself before you ..

though this battle for one is killing me ..

i have to fight this with you ..

and i need your touch to heal my wounds ..

My God , My Tourniquet ..

Come back to me Salvation ..













Josh - Warrior Within

so close ..

destruction ..

my inferno is dying ..

soon there will be a warmth ..

and soon , everything will be clear ..













josh - the angel won this time

2 DAYS

BELIEVE













WITNESS THE DEVIL

3 YEARS WAITING

3 DAYS LEFT

AS I WATCH YOU FADING

SO NEAR MY LAST BREATH













WITNESS THE START OF DEATH
WITNESS THE DEVIL

Dark , this is so dark .

im feeling the light again .

the light so bright .

i can feel the body crumble .

as white and black battle for one .

my soul cant take this communion anymore .

i feel as if im Prince of Persia : The Two Thrones

Anyone who completed the game should know how im feeling rite now .

thdn again , maybe im just two person in different times .

when the dark warrior takes over , though they serve the same purpose ,

he is more powerful , but he needs the sands of time for survival .

whereas the actual self that needs not , is weaker .

sands of time are precious .

they let you undo your mistakes from the past .

as long as i have the sands of time , i survive and rule aint it .

that is right , i do not know what is happening to me ,

but i feel as if i have to do some destruction .

fuck that incident ,

yes i won , so what ?

ived fought so hard to win ,

but in the end , it didnt matter at all .

in this school i start anew .

ive fought for who i am .

lost the prestige .

someone's out to get me .

i wanna fend this myself .

Protect me ? bullshit .

try protecting urself first losers .

call yourself professionals .

Mercernaries , how can i forget ?

sweden and nepol .

i guess nobody remembered the day they made me tear

i condescended to washing cars ,

remembered what u guys did ?

though it was just an ippw . aint real .

i just told myself to bear with it .

and i forgive them .

for they do not know what they are doing .

who they are offending .

and i dont have to prove anythin .

i just want my peace .





This world is killing me .

as i do my best to hug my values close .

honour , dignity , respect

the few importants .

they do not know this .

why do i speak in a tone ?

there must be reasons to it .

and im not telling you why .

im not even suppose to say anythin related here .

but u guys are too stupid to find out anything anyway .

those "guardians" can nv find me here .

i wonder if the simple life is gd .

is the what u called fate ?

doubt it , its called cause and effect .

as far as i have the conditions to be spoiled .

i want to do this on my own .

cuz that is what life is about .

values , not materials .


im angry not becuz of what happened .

im just god damn hate the way they do things around here .

insensitive with the words they say .

logic is all that matter ? fun ?

always hiding , always thinking what ppl would think of them .

even in love , isnt it supposed to be true and open ?

isnt it supposed to be lovely and sweet ?

since when did cold battles blind them from each other .

everything , isnt supposed to be like this .

im still giving you time ,

but theres not much left .

if you think still that you are right .

if that you dont need me as a friend anymore .

if that what you want is to fend this world without me by your side .

if that you want to destroy the mask yourself .

im alrite with that .

im tired ..

here i apologize for all that i have done wrong .

here i forgive you ,

everyone has desires .

as much as i want to be positive .

im going let things happen .

its your choice now .

im not just saying this to one person .

say something or not .

keep a friend , or not .



josh - the throne

FOR YOU

4 DAYS

TESTIFIED , I DID NOT WATCH U GROW

I WAS ALONE WAITING , FIGHTING , BLEEDING

NEITHER DO U KNOW MY PAST

SO DARK AND DEVIOUS ,

YET PRESTIGEOUS AND UNMASQUERADE , BEAUTIFUL

THE STREET WARS , THE POLITICS PLAYED , THE LIGHT BETRAYED , THERE THE VOICES FADE

AS FAR AS I KNOW

IM WAITING FOR YOUR WORDS RIGHT NOW

AND YOUR POSITIVE CHANGE IS INEVITABLY BEAUTIFUL

AND IF YOU DO NOT SAY ANYTHING

I FEAR I CANT STOP WHAT I AM TO BECOME

THE ENDLESS THRIST FOR BLOOD

THE NEVERENDING WAR WITHIN

ALL I NEED IS YOU TO STOP THIS BLEEDING

SAY SOMETHING BEFORE I BREAK

MY CHOICE IS BACK TO INDETERMINATE














YOU MADE ME BLEED
YOU BROKE MY CREED
WITH YOU MAY I BE FREED

WITNESS THE DEVIL

DOES YOUR FACE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR HEART ?







5 DAYS







FATE IN YOUR HANDS
WHAT DO U NOW FEND
WITNESS THE DEVIL

AS YOUR MASK FORMS BACK

6 DAYS LEFT FOR YOUR WORDS

MASQUERADED
BEFORE YOU FALL
WITNESS THE DEVIL

INFERNO OF DARKNESS

WITNESS THE DEVIL

How can i pretend not to see ,
what you hide so carelessly .













i know u deciphered that post a few months ago .













i know what u wrote behind that locked door .













and i ask , why did u say theres no turning back ?













ived told u . im nt at de playground .













if this is still a game to u .
im srry bout ur gnna miss .













reflect and think .
is this what u want ?













anyway , take care .
i cant be bothered anymore .
i have more things to settle .



























Josh - living on de edge

no turning back now .

im srry for that .

im nt pissed .

just frustrated .

still friends .













i dont know what else to say .
im nt suppose to act this way .
keeping consciousness each day .
just to stay away from endless frays .













dont shoot yourself .













ived already told u .
this is not a game anymore .
everything is real .
please , wake up .

tell me you are testing me .

dun make me fight for nothing that i can see .

belive it or not i still do .

and i really dont want u to let this go .

i can take all your shit .

but do i deserve it ?

tell me seriously .

do i ?

i dont want to give up .

i hate giving up .

show me that i have done something ?

a smile ?

any form of appreciation ?

i dont want to make you regret .

i dont want to hate you .

i dont want to let you waste yourself .

say something will you ?

spare a thought for me alrite ?

till you do .

i will assume u dont care .

dont regret again .













josh - get a bunch of people to come for me again . its fun .

light .

stage .

man .

shadow .














as the world judges the shadow .
would ever so simple the sight of light ?














all the world's a stage .

and all the men and women merely play it .


josh - ask me about the light , and i might just tell you .

you didnt say hi .

you didnt say bye .

like the fire will i die .

note to all .

trinity and speed .

there is no time to waste .

after today .

i wont be around anymore .

im entering the core of the battle .

unless you are joining me .

you are nothing .

im casting everything aside .

out of my way .

i have to do this .













josh - the sympathy for the devil

back to de josh who make friends smile .

=]







gnna sleep ,

waking for 2nd last lap of bio at 12 mid to morn .







josh - amigo

yeahh . today was fun .

amatho was so easy la .

even though cuz dint study and would probably faill .

all u need is de basics of each chapter .

only few questions of interlinked chapters .

wtf . amaths week is not up yet la .

i dun wanna study amath !! TIRING !!

i passed de other time .

cuz i killed myself de day before .

and im t gnna kill myself again anytime soon .

bio is cool . can answer Anands questions !!

muahahaha . left 8 ++ chapt with bio . and bio progress of de class is slowwwww ..

like what . 1 week only cover 5-8 chapters ???

me is 5 hours 8 chapters . starting from scratch .

and its tough la . but have to do it .

hehe . after im done with bio everything shud be fine .

think i would have gain momentum by thdn .

1/3 through chem now .

and today's chem paper is easy like crap .

as daya said . nv study also can pass .

haha better watch my words . i dun wann it to be like geo .

okieee .

im getting fun again .

yeahh and thats gd . helps joshie to relax . =]


i think ppl are starting to see the point why school is a waste of time now .

anywayy , apologize for de previous posts on de staff and master sergents .

i meant no offence , *not that anyone of u had started beating me up*

haha , just in case u guys feel offended .

u guys are family mann !! we've been through thick and not so thin together !

hhaha . CCP . He's one of de very few that can really cheer me up . =]

Ma rocks ! hope u get well soon .

Daya u stole all my glory !!! but nvm , keep it !! its rightfully yours =]
haha , u make me laugh .

Jereme although u slack and make me do all de work and thdn claim de credits .
we made fun out of nothing and ncc becomes fun =]

The Monkey with long legs , u contributed alot bro . u grew in person as well !
nice job done !

okie , does it sound less harming now ?

haha . wthh .

O's in 2 weeks time .

and im running !!

shall end and go learn more bio !!





hmmm , London ?

nice place .





josh - subtle love

amigos .

u know who u are .

we help each other out mann .

im here for u always .

we stick like brothers okie ?

now that u fell . GET UP !!!

we are rabbits .

those fucking tortises think they are so great winning de first race .

lets not sleep this time okie ?

although de tortoises are all de wayy in front .

i still think we can catch up mann .

i dont care if ur injured .

u dont win this race , ur gnna get mocked by more tortoises .

i dont care as well if they are just a minute away from de line .

all that matter is that we cross it before them .

and dont trip bro , we cant afford another rabbit .

no more wondering by de bushes to check out de nice raspberries .

no more taking our sweet naps .

no more running elsewhere besides the race track .

we must not stop no matter how sweet smelling the raspberries are .

we must uphold the name of all rabbits !!!!!!!!!!!!

lets run amigo . and run as fast as we can .





josh - no more

i swear my maid is having pms .

this morning i dont feel any needles ,

i dont feel cold ,

i dont feel hot water ,

i dont feel whacks ,

i dont hear calls ,

i dont see light ,

i dont smell hair spray ,



why again ?

cuz my "alarm clock" decided not to again .

bloody hell , gnna set another alarm .





some intel are just meant to be ignored .

like failing geo cuz i dint write my question number .

all my 25 marks gone .



this time my results are just screwed .

and im nt gnna cry over spilled milk .

instead , i shall continue with my schedule and be happy .

relax a lil , while sticking to plan .



amatho test is coming , and im nt gnna study for it .

cuz its chem this week ! muaha .

speakin of that , theres mock pract tmr .



have been studying .



and the teachers aint happy .



theres gnna be nite study nxt week .



will go for it .



stuff that ii need practice .
math , ss , Eng .

stuff that i need to factualize/memorize .
bio , science , ss+geo .

simple .

and my bio is ruling .
muahahahaha .

Glad you had fun .





josh - sacrifice .

Tears of the sun .

i begin to wonder again what life is all about .

and the decision to skip ns isnt that now .

i ask myself what for .

ived learnt a hell lot of stuff in ncc .

im the best soldier there .

i realize everything was bullshit in ncc .

they promote u according to your grades .

reason i couldn make it ? grades .

reason i couldn command de parade ? Malaysian .

but what did i contribute ? pretty much and more .

i dont deny that i had stand down this year .

wasnt that hyped into ncc for de past few months .

but thinking back .

teamwork , leadership , endurance , experiences that not much people have in life .

do u know how much runs through your mind to kayak for 3 days around singapore ?

or even bite in the jungles of Brunei and learn training commando style ?

all this beautiful memories . Will never be forgotten .

leave no men behind . fight with everything you've got . one for all , all for one .

many values i hold dear .

i belive . in ns , i will rule .

cuz nobody recognizes this in ncc .

they probably give u a badge .

Even now , so what if i have the most number of and most prestigious badges ?

so what if you dont promote me ?

1st sergent is good enough , 2 ranks below de top .

plus i dont really care bout de rank .

ive learnt much more thdn any of de staff and master sergents .

i bet in ns things go much more differently .

i bet i will learn more to life .


i came to think why i wanted to skip ns for ?

cuz i wanted more time to make a million before 27 ?

not that im a materialist ,

Money that i earn is more like a point system in a game to me .

Nv a tool to flaunt or anything like that .

but one thing is for me . Quality .

i like Quality , and that sorta comes hand in hand with money in this world .

but Quality aint all about a 54" lcd tv or a 5 carat diamond ring .

its about experiences as well .

i belive this quest for knowledge and making it b4 27 is gnna make me live a life more thrilling .

thdn , i really wished i had more lives .

there's so many things i wanna experience and become .

but for me , looks like unless i live life again ,

i can nv have the best of ALL worlds .

multi-billionaire businessmen , pilot , rock star , sniper , doctor , life coach , DJ , artist , help the ppl in Africa , commoner and it will add .

you lose the essence of fully becoming one and seeing things in the perspective when u fluctuate across many .

but thdn again , its not impossible .

be a pilot , write some songs , become a rockstar ( which makes u an artist ) , use the money u earn to start a business , make it big , at the mean time learn to be DJ , learn biology be a doctor , and buy a sniper or maybe draw some cool stuffs . after that u can use your life story to motivate and empower other people . after i that im gnna go to africa and help out and donate a hell lot of money to charity and help those poor people . oh and what about commoner ? sighh , guess i cant be a commoner thdn . how saddening .

i dont want to die !!

i want to live life again and again and again .

till i get tired of it and die .

and when i die

well thdn again . People's thinking change from time to time .

no point thinking so far .

so many people are lost in their lives .

they dont know who they are . dont care why they are on earth for .

study for de sake of studying , earn money just to pay bills .

robots ! one day the system will fall mann .

right . no point thinking so far .

my only Goal now is O's .

and as long as i put in my best , i wont have any regrets .

besides , im a genius rite ?

i dont care if the world is against me .

all that matters are the words that are constructive .

the inferno inside .

its has to come out .

forget doubt . choose to fly .



and the hearts in de fridge are melting in my mouth .

well , so's mine .


life is hectic now .
maybe im being too hard on myself .
but i have to do it .


do u see me when im invisible ?



josh - the Questions .

Joshe

23/01/1990

Ships in the harbour are safe

But that;s not what ships are built for

the current archives:

junio 2006
julio 2006
agosto 2006
septiembre 2006
octubre 2006
noviembre 2006
diciembre 2006
febrero 2007
marzo 2007
abril 2007
noviembre 2007
febrero 2009
marzo 2009
mayo 2009