I got shot down today .
i got shot from the back .
guess who .
Me .
is it that i radically find what is utmost important to me ?
that my dreams and passions could be felt running through my veins ever so readily .
as all it ever flows is back into my wounded thumping heart .
there is nothing in life that can pacify the thought of fear , of your very self .
if we were to do the things we are capable of , we would astound ourselves .
Those words enter my head .
It rings like a church bell over Notre Dame's Gothic Cathedral .
It rung , over and over again , as if it broke .
and yet , the very heart of de belle keeps its whispers in hurt ,
Dont try to fix me ,
Im not broken .
Hate , may it be the heart of my strength .
It is I , who is able to stare fear in its eye .
Roar , let it know , that it can take our lives ,
but they can never take my Freedom .
awaken de darkness within .
shed light upon it .
and the bells may ring .
all it takes , is an assassin's creed .
Awaken . My old friend .
Its time to bring down the house .
This is Intriguing .
that my life is a dilemma in a devil's playground .
of which i know what to do and when to do .
that , i know specifically what i need .
would it bother me if i chose to appear as what it is or not .
no it wouldn .
tonnes of things and places ived saw and been in life .
be it family member assination ,
to hiding for my life , hunted for my head .
to raiding one of my dad's mistresses house and have her know who's boss .
be it having kickass lovers .
to carrying a giant teddy bear across orchard road to make a lover smile that day .
be it sitting on the edge of de 21st storey , ready to die ,
to overdosing myself w alcohol , ready to die .
i grew tired of being the stature of attention .
the chiral hold of de constant trial of stabilizing my life .
the constant love of becoming a greater man .
i made a choice .
how is it possible that out of school my friends are boundless .
that im kickass fun in clubs . that people are way more receptive when i make em .
that i am blissful for who i am
when i feel every blood rush down my veins for the things ived conquered .
that i draw attention like a vampire's stash madly takes places .
and in school im dead ?
at least i was alive before ,
till a point , i realize there was no point .
there's nothing awesome bout being "it" in school .
too much facade , too much grenade .
may the force be with those who are hypnotized by social conditioning .
a choice was made ,
as i watch everyday , de footsteps of my previous life wayy back , in many passerbys .
that i anticipated , actions and reactions .
that im too tired , and sick of it all , to even give a good response .
my life is too dramatic for me to be dramatic .
i do what i do .
may it seem hypocritical or not .
because all i know , is ill get there .
Love ? ived bled .
and till this day my heart lies broken in shattered pieces .
that i wonder if i should still believe in true love ,
that i wonder if making my love smile and melt would still be in my daily checklist .
i wonder if i still believe in love .
or should i head back to de clubs and make out with hot random girls all over again .
i hate myself right now .
for all the reasons i can think of .
tonnes of thoughts runnin through my head day by day .
and i dont even know what makes sense anymore .
conscious , vicious , and rashed .
i think . i really do . and many things overcomplicate themselves .
im happy . that im perhaps a tad bit crazy .
mindfucking with my mind is gnna kill u .
so dont even think about it .
